


sick of mildew

by orangeshoe



Category: Fire Emblem Echoes: Mou Hitori no Eiyuu Ou | Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia, Fire Emblem Series
Genre: Anxiety, Character Study, DETAILS IN NOTES, Gen, He lonely, It's implied Python pining after Lukas but that's just my bias, M/M, Minor Self Harm, Pining, Restlessness, it could fit python and lukas or python and anyone i feel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 12:32:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10854078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orangeshoe/pseuds/orangeshoe
Summary: He sighs for what feels like the tenth time that night. Or maybe it was morning now.. He's not sure. All he really knows is that this feeling sucks. It feels heavy, draining, and ugly.





	sick of mildew

**Author's Note:**

> Self-harm/anxiety: Very vaguely mentioned that Python scratches himself or otherwise fidgets out of anxiety.

It feels like it stings.

It feels like it burns.

Pain.

Out of focus.

Gets to a point where he really doesn't understand it anymore. But did he ever really?

Python pulls the blanket over his shoulders, shivering so slightly even though he didn't feel particularly cold. He'd laid on his back, his side, his other side, and even his stomach for maybe, who knows, five seconds? Nothing was working. Maybe he should just sleep on his head at this point.

He sighs for what feels like the tenth time that night. Or maybe it was morning now.. He's not sure. All he really knows is that this feeling sucks. It feels heavy, draining, and ugly.

His eyes have by now well adjusted to the faint starlight, and the softed glow from their tiny fire being stoked outside by whoever was on night watch tonight. He hadn't put in the effort to care, only really paid attention to his own shifts and let the rest be as it may. No difference to him who's trying to watch after his life, after all.

Or so he thought.

There are companions all around him, sure. He gets along well enough, considering his general mood and aura. People talk to him still. But it's.. odd. The feeling, sometimes. When his chest is tight and he feels the smile that simultaneously does and doesn't feel right on his face. When he's warm. When he wants to feel someone holding him.

When he finds himself looking at someone for too long.

And he plays it off, makes the comments, gives a look, maybe a wink. All things that are brushed off or downplayed easily, which he's now not entirely sure he's thankful for. Would it be different if he admitted how he felt? But how did he even feel?

His hands run up his arms under the sheets, rubbing them to try to somehow stop the shaking. He wishes the pillow was something else, something more sturdy and rigid yet still warm and inviting. He wishes the blanket around him was someone's arm instead, firm and decisive but affectionate and simple.

He wants. Quietly, wistfully. But putting it into words, getting them sorted in his brain and trying to put them out as actual formed words--it's too hard. Every moment he's ever been misinterpreted or had a poor run-in goes through his head, a play by play of the mistakes he's made and the moments he wishes he could just redo.

He takes another deep breath.

His nerves are tingling a little less.

He rubs his eyes.

They're sore now.

His arms still shake, but feel less so.

He can feel his nails scratching against his skin, as if they were scratching since the start, damnit not again, and he pulls his hand away.

He always gets tired eventually. It's the same routine.

He just wishes there was someone to lean on during these nights.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!! I wanted to do a little Python thing because my feelings have intensified greatly. Soon the game will come out and I'll just be drowning in it.. Feedback appreciated, especially headcanons!


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